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Love and Tears
by Dick Ogden
It takes a minute to have
a crush on someone...
an hour to like someone...
a day to love someone...
but it takes a lifetime to
forget someone.
Allow
me to relate a story about
two special women in my
life. One is the one I am
still married to, after more
than two decades. The other
is the woman I had an affair
with. I'm going to call her
Joanne. She knows who she
is, but it would be highly
indiscreet to name names.
I
What is it with this 25
year syndrome? It seems that
7 years is a turning point
in most marriages. It was in
mine... and we made it
through it. It was
incredibly difficult at
times. It also seems that 25
years is another turning
point.
It's easy to love
someone. We all love more
than one person at a time.
Everybody does. But, to "be
in love" is completely
different.
When I was 20 years old,
I had a friend who was the
distant object of my
affection. I was in love
with her. I just didn't have
the nerve to tell her. We
went out a few times, and
were very close
friends...and I suspect
that's how she felt about
it.
She wound up marrying
someone else, and I was
crushed (from a distance).
I allowed this to get
inside my head and stir
things up for several years.
And, just about the time I
had come to the gross
realization that I wasn't
ever going to see her again
I met this really great gal.
We had the same political
interests, social interests,
and likes/dislikes...pretty
much, anyway.
Suffice to say, we had a
great deal in common. And,
like most of our friends at
the time, we wound up
getting married.
The seven year
itch......
My wife got it. I had it,
but didn't scratch it. She
scratched. Big time. With
two of my friends, and three
others as well.
I'll never forget the day
she came home from work with
a book about adultery.
I think the title (rather
long) went something like
this: 'Civilized Adultery: A
modern couple's guide to
extramarital adventure.'
It was pretty good at
addressing issues of
discretion, basic rules of
having an affair, why you
should or shouldn't tell
your spouse.
Anyway, I think my wife
used it to 'break me in' to
the fact that she wanted to
have sex with other men too.
It also helped me to realize
that my own insecurities
would cause me to be jealous
of any relationships she
might develop.
So, after bolstering my
self esteem, she began a
series of affairs with
several different men.
I was always free to
pursue this sort of thing,
but I never really had the
nerve. I thought that
getting married would
eliminate the need to look
for someone to love. After
she started having an
affair, I almost felt
compelled but never really
had the time, nor had I met
anybody interesting enough.
There was a lady I
carpooled with, but she was
very noble, and refused to
become 'the other woman.'
There was my secretary,
but THAT would have really
screwed up a good working
relationship. And we both
realized that. Madalen and I
went out for dinner a couple
of times during what
amounted to a brief
separation between me and my
wife.
BUT NOW, AFTER ALL
THESE YEARS, I HAVE HAD AN
AFFAIR...
I ran into Joanne in an
office building in January.
We went to lunch right away.
We hadn't seen each other in
28 years, and she was now
divorced. She was officially
married to him for 27 and
one half years...but she
calls it 25. That's when she
told him she was leaving
him.
One thing led to
another...the emails went
fast and furious. I was
falling in love all over
again. My wife and I had
been talking divorce for
well over a year.
And Joanne was just as
she had been years ago. A
little heavier, perhaps. A
little grey around the edges
( after all, she IS
approaching 50), and a few
new wrinkles...but she
kissed me like she had so
many years ago. Funny, I
still remembered what she
tasted like. I was falling
in love again...with the
woman who had unknowingly
broken my heart so many
years ago. Finally, it was
going to come true.
I didn't care that she
had two grown children (I
have one of those myself). I
didn't care that I had to
wait for 28 years. All the
emotions and feelings came
to the surface...so quickly.
I had kept them locked away
for so many years. Now, they
just seemed to explode.
My wife and our
relationship didn't matter
any more. I had Joanne back
in my life. Nothing else
mattered. I knew after the
first lunch together, we
would have to see each other
again.
About three weeks after
our initial meeting, I was
working about 40 miles from
her office. (I don't live
close to her, nor does my
work take me near her very
often -- so 40 miles wasn't
out of the question). I
drove to a point closer to
her office and called her. I
asked her out for lunch, and
she readily agreed.
I was in her office's
lobby in about 15 minutes.
We had a very enjoyable
time, and after lunch sat
out in her car and necked
like a couple of teenagers.
I felt a little strange. I
am a respected member of my
community. She was on the
School Board, for goodness'
sake. There we were, off in
an unoccupied corner of the
parking lot...necking and
getting all worked up like
we did when we were 19.
The next day, I mustered
the courage to send her an
email expressing my desire
to see her again...perhaps
during a weekend. She
agreed, and we set things up
for a weekend in February.
And so, began the
deceit.....
I covered my tracks so
well. I set the stage by
sending myself an email from
someone having to do with my
business...and a "weekend
conference" in the major
city near where Joanne
lives. Anybody can create a
phony email account.
This was so simple, she
never suspected a thing. It
was very official looking,
and I even printed it out to
let her know I was going to
attend this 'conference.' I
also threw a strange twist
into it. It was a weekend
conference that started at
noon on Saturday and ended
at noon on Monday.
Joanne scheduled a
vacation day for Monday...
And I began to count the
days until I would see her.
The anticipation was
incredible. My sleep time at
night grew shorter and
shorter. I couldn't keep
myself asleep after awhile.
I bounded out of bed in the
morning... and stayed up
late at night emailing
Joanne. We had the hots for
each.
I got to live one of the
fantasies of every man. I
got to spend an incredibly
erotic weekend with an old
high school sweetheart.
I took a train to the
city, and rode the metro
train to her suburb.
She met me at the station.
The kiss hello was magic. My
heart was light as air and
ablaze with anticipation.
Finally, after all the
years, love was real...and
right here, driving the car!
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