|
Letting Go
By Robert Paul Reyes
There must be fifty
ways to leave your lover, fifty ways to
leave your lover.
Just slip out the back, Jack, make a new
plan, Stan, Don't need to be coy, Roy, just
listen to me.
Hop on the bus, Gus, don't need to discuss
much. Just drop off the key, Lee, and get
yourself free
Those words written by Paul Simon are
indeed true. There are fifty-hundred ways to
leave your lover, ah but the catch is that
there is no easy way to do so. It is an
emotionally wrenching and physically taxing
experience to break up with someone that you
have been physically intimate and
emotionally bonded with. There are no
Hallmark cards that you can send to your
lover informing him that it's over.
The best way to leave your lover is by
making a clean break of it. Sit down with
your lover and calmly and tenderly state
your case. Outline all the reasons why you
feel that the magic is over. The truth is
that there is nothing logical or rational
about love. Your partner may not agree with
the logic of your arguments, but she will no
doubt sense that indeed the twinkle of love
no longer sparkles in your eyes. She may not
immediately agree that it's time to end the
relationship, but the truth will soon sink
in.
The best time to leave your lover is
right now. If you are certain that it's time
for the relationship to end; do not
procrastinate. End it now especially if you
are in an abusive relationship. Bullies who
physically abuse their lovers rarely if ever
change their destructive behavior. A
physically abusive person does not deserve
one more chance. The same principle applies
to those that are unfaithful. A leopard will
sooner change his spots than a cheat will
change his ways. A relationship is built on
trust and faith. Once that foundation has
been shattered, it's over.
Don't wait until your lover screws up
again before you break up. Don't say the
next time that fool comes home drunk I'll
break up with him. You need to be calm and
reasonable when you tell your lover that
it's over. You don't want to be in a fit of
rage when you break up or else you will
probably spew out hateful words that you
will later regret.
Allow me to digress by pointing out that
my essay is directed to lovers who have not
yet taken the vows of marriage. I have a
great deal of respect for the institution of
marriage and I believe that one should do
everything within his power to preserve the
union. You should go the extra mile to try
to save your marriage.
Once you have broken up with your lover
don't join a monastery and vow never to date
again, but by the same token don't be in a
hurry to replace the lover you just dumped
or you might end up with another jerk.
It's never easy letting go and saying
good-bye but unless you let go of that
weight that is holding you down you will
never be able to grab a hold of the lover
who truly loves you. I hope that my essay
will embolden you to finally let go so you
will be free to accept the love of the
person who respects and loves you with all
of his heart.
©1998, Robert Paul Reyes
|
