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Meeting His Parents
"Would you like to meet my parents?" Gulp.
Meeting his family for the first time can be
more nerve-racking than going on your first
date. What if they don't like me? What if I
don't like them? What if I say something
wrong? These, and many more questions will
be flying around your head. Don't worry we
have some useful tips for surviving the
introduction with your in-laws.
First Impressions matter
Go girl, this guy must be serious if he
wants you to meet his parents. But remember
first impressions are very important. If his
parents take a dislike to you on your first
encounter they may never accept you, and if
they do it could take a long time.
Get wise
Find out as much as you can about his family
by asking him questions about them. If you
know that his parents are very conservative,
you may want to cover up that tattoo or
temporarily remove that nose ring - or at
least have your partner warn them of your
body art - before meeting them.
Until you have got to the point of calling
them mum and dad, try to steer clear of any
family disputes or difference of opinions.
Long before you meet his parents, talk with
your boyfriend about what he wants out of
the visit, letting him share what to address
and avoid. "He needs to prepare you and
support you when you get there.
Think of questions you would like to ask
them. After all, its not just about them
liking you, you also have to like them -
they could be your future in-laws. Talk
about current events, and target their
interests or careers.
House guest etiquette
If you are staying at their home for a
night, or a few days, show them a token of
appreciation by offering them a bouquet of
flowers or a potted plant.
Take a bottle of wine to dinner (check with
your partner that they drink first. They
might be recovering alcoholics and you don't
want to get them back on the band wagon do
you?)
If you are a vegetarian make sure you let
them know beforehand. Make sure you EAT all
or at least most of your dinner. You don't
want to offend them.
Most important, don't overdo the booze. The
last thing you want to do is get drunk and
be critical of his mother's cooking.
Where to sleep
Although the two of you may share a bed on
home turf, his parents may not approve of it
in their home, so do respect his parents
wishes. (Well at least until they are asleep
:o) If you do wait until his parents are
asleep and decide on a quickie, make sure
you don't fall asleep in his bed or you may
get caught, and that won't do you any good
when trying to score some brownie points.)
What if they hate me?
Keep in mind that his parents may be just as
anxious as you are and that they are
probably thinking and feeling exactly the
same.
While it's normal to want to be popular with
potential in-laws, be open to the fact that
you may not "click." Do not expect to build
an instant bond with them, but instead try
to help them be at ease with you, opening
the door for a warm encounter the next time
you get together.
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