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10 Tips for Online Dating
Safety
Whether you decide to
correspond online or meet members offline,
please use sound judgment and be responsible
for your conduct. In both the virtual and
real worlds, common sense is your best
safety tool.
1. Start slow. Watch out
for someone who seems too good to be true.
Begin by communicating solely via
Roadtolove.com Messenger or email, then look
for odd behavior or inconsistencies. The
person at the other end may not be who or
what he or she says.
2. Trust your instincts. If
anything makes you uncomfortable, walk away
for your own safety and protection. All
correspondence between Roadtolove.com
members takes place through our double-blind
system, ensuring your true identity is
protected until you decide to reveal it.
Never include your last name, email address,
home address, phone number, place of work or
any other identifying information in your
free member profile or initial messages.
When corresponding with another
Roadtolove.com member, turn off your email
signature file. Stop communicating with
anyone who pressures you for personal
information or attempts in any way to trick
you into revealing it.
3. Exercise caution and common
sense. Careful, thoughtful
decisions generally yield better dating
results. Guard against trusting the
untrustworthy; suitors must earn your trust
gradually, through consistently honorable,
forthright behavior. Take all the time you
need to test for a trustworthy person and
pay careful attention along the way. If you
suspect someone is lying, he or she probably
is, so act accordingly. Be responsible about
romance, and don’t fall in love at the click
of a mouse. Don’t become prematurely
intimate with someone, even if that intimacy
only occurs online. If you mutually decide
to cross the point of no return, be smart
and protect yourself. The U.S. Centers for
Disease Control and Prevention provide some
of the most current information available
about sexually transmitted diseases and
preserving your health.
4. Request a photo. A photo
will give you a good idea of the person's
appearance, which may prove helpful in
achieving a gut feeling. In fact, it’s best
to view several images of someone in various
settings: casual, formal, indoor and
outdoors. If all you hear are excuses about
why you can't see a photo, consider that he
or she has something to hide. Since
Roadtolove.com offers free scanning services
to its members, there’s no reason someone
shouldn’t be able to provide you a photo.
5. Chat on the phone. A
phone call can reveal much about a person’s
communication and social skills. Consider
your security and do not reveal your
personal phone number to a stranger. Try a
cell phone number instead or use local
telephone blocking techniques to prevent
your phone number from appearing in Caller
ID. Only furnish your phone number when you
feel completely comfortable.
6. Meet when YOU are ready.
The beauty of meeting and relating online is
that you can collect information gradually,
later choosing whether to pursue the
relationship in the offline world. You never
are obligated to meet anyone, regardless of
your level of online intimacy. And even if
you decide to arrange a meeting, you always
have the right to change your mind. It’s
possible that your decision to keep the
relationship at the anonymous level is based
on a hunch that you can’t logically explain.
Trust yourself. Go with your instincts.
7. Watch for red flags. Pay
attention to displays of anger, intense
frustration or attempts to pressure or
control you. Acting in a passive-aggressive
manner, making demeaning or disrespectful
comments or any physically inappropriate
behavior are all red flags. You should be
concerned if your date exhibits any of the
following behavior without providing an
acceptable explanation: Provides
inconsistent information about age,
interests, appearance, marital status,
profession, employment, etc. Refuses to
speak to you on the phone after establishing
ongoing, online intimacy. Fails to provide
direct answers to direct questions. Appears
significantly different in person from his
or her online persona. Never introduces you
to friends, professional associates or
family members.
8. Meet in a safe place.
When you choose to meet offline, always tell
a friend where you are going and when you
will return. Leave your date’s name and
telephone number with your friend. Never
arrange for your date to pick you up at
home. Provide your own transportation, meet
in a public place at a time with many people
around, and when the date is over, leave on
your own as well. A familiar restaurant or
coffee shop, at a time when a lot of other
people will be present, is often a fine
choice. If you decide to move to another
location, take your own car. When the timing
is appropriate, thank your date for getting
together and say goodbye.
9. Take extra caution outside your
area. If you are flying in from
another city, arrange for your own car and
hotel room. Do not disclose the name of your
hotel and never allow your date to make the
arrangements for you. Rent a car at the
airport and drive directly to your hotel.
Call your date from the hotel or meet at the
location you have already agreed to. If the
location seems inappropriate or unsafe, go
back to your hotel. Try to contact your date
at that location or leave a message on a
home machine. Always make sure a friend or
family member knows your plans and has your
contact information. And if possible, carry
a cell phone at all times.
10. Get yourself out of a jam.
Never do anything you feel unsure about. If
you are in any way afraid of your date, use
your best judgment to diffuse the situation
and get out of there. Excuse yourself long
enough to call a friend for advice, ask
someone else on the scene for help or slip
out the back door and drive away. If you
feel you are in danger, call the police;
it’s always better to be safe than sorry.
Never worry or feel embarrassed about your
behavior; your safety is much more important
than one person’s opinion of you. While
liars, cheaters and imposters certainly ply
their craft on the Web, you’ll also find
them in nightclubs and offline dating
services, cocktail parties or even sitting
across from you at your local café.
Regardless of where you meet someone, dating
is never a risk-free activity, but a little
caution will reduce your risk in matters of
the heart.
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